


Professor

by virghoe



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Teacher-Student Relationship, its college AU dw, nothing that saucy has happened yet lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-20 17:37:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4796321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virghoe/pseuds/virghoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You would curse every time you smiled thinking about him</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction to Flirting

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back from the dead! Sorry I have been BURIED in work, college applications, school work, and I am now currently playing Lady Capulet in Romeo and Juliet so I have like no time to do anything but i got inspired and whipped up this. Thanks to envelopesyou for giving me the boost i needed to write this

It wasn’t really your choice to come, your roommate had dragged you out to this improv night, mostly because she had met a boy there last time, and needed some support. She didn’t need it, but you decided to be a good friend and come along anyway.

  
“Are you sure I don’t look, like, majorly dumb?”

  
“I mean it’s an improv group, everyone is kinda dumb there” that wasn’t the answer Holly wanted, but she laughed none the less. She was speeding ahead of you, her strides wider than you were willing to make. You kept a normal speed, even though she was subconsciously urging you to sprint with her. This was a physical way of reiterating to her that you did not want to be there, if that was necessary. It wasn’t.

  
“Come on we’re gonna be late!” Holly said, but kept her face forward, possibly to hide her grin.

  
“We’re nearly a half an hour early”

  
“Yeah, but we’re gonna be late to being early” she laughed, knowing how ridiculous she was being. She never got this way about _boys_. But whatever it was about this guy, Ryan? Rick? Whoever she met, had her in some tizzy.

  
“Alright Love Dove, I’ll get these calves moving” you sighed sweetly to her, catching up to her side, but once there you realized you weren’t far from the entrance to the studio building. Once inside Holly shrunk a bit,

  
“So, you know this place like the back of your hand, where’s the common area?” too many late nights covered in oil paint led to you being pretty familiar with this place.

  
“I’ll show you” Holly barely heard you as you began to climb the stairs, swinging on the turns a bit. Once up there, you saw what had to be the improv group, and you were reminded of how much you didn’t want to be there. Loud. These people were obnoxious, loud, just a list of unnecessaries.

  
“ _Holly_ ” you said when she finally caught up, your tone something of “are you serious” and a dash of “please let me leave”.

  
“It’s gonna be _fine_ ” she said, putting her hands on your shoulders, her eye contact towards you being torn to some gangly boy, who you could only assume was the Ryan, Rick, Rodney guy. She left after this, sputtering some sort of nonsensical reason for her to leave. You could see her catch up to him, a smile stretched his face when he finally saw her, putting his arms out for a friendly hug, she sheepishly accepted. This quirked your lip with a smile ever so slightly. You could tell he liked her. He tucked his head away from her when he laughed, his hand was constantly playing with the small hairs at the back of his neck, the other was jammed in his pocket, and his weight never stayed constant in his feet, to his toes, then his heels, then the middle, then his heels again. Now you were starting to wonder what help Holly needed, why you _had_ to be here. She seemed to be doing just fine on her own, better than fine.

  
“Hey, do you need one of these” a foreign voice rang in your ear, shocking you out of your somewhat bitter train of thought. You turned to an incredibly tall man standing before you, holding out a “My name is…” name tag. 

  
“Oh, uh, I’m only here to watch. My friend kinda dragged me” you wouldn’t realize how rude this sounded until it was too late.

  
“Oh, ok, I got it” he said, writing something on the tag, leaned up against the wall next to you, before you could ask, well, anything, he came back with a now filled label. You took it, and tried to stifle the snort that conjured when you read the words “NO FUN” scratched in caps on the tag.

  
“Oh, _thanks_ ” you said sarcastically, yet proudly smoothing the tag onto your shirt, you were ready to play his game.

  
“No problem” the tall guy laughed, pushing his hands into his pockets.

  
“So do you run this?” you smiled, biting your lip, a little bit too flirtatiously. But I guess that was better than being stoney with him, he _was_ cute. He had a mop of curly hair that cast over deep set eyes, and an angular chin that was lined with stubble. The clothes he wore were close to his body, only showing off how slim he was. Yeah, flirtatious was good.

  
“Yeah, I mean, I like being the teacher-supervisor-type-thing for these deals”

  
“You’re a teacher?”

  
“Oh, uh, yeah, Professor Avidan. That’s the official title, I guess” flirtatious was not good.

  
“Oh, I- I mean, you just don’t look it” you laughed a bit, a blush too severely dying your cheeks.

  
“I guess that’s good” his chuckle had hit a sour note, its tone now awkward. You wanted to keep talking, patch up whatever mess had just torn through the conversation, anything was good enough.

  
“So what do you teach?” perhaps staying on the teaching subject wasn’t you best move, but it’s the one you made.

  
“I do music theory courses mainly, and I’m starting this small course set on the correlation between music and literary classics”

  
“Oh, well then, Professor Avidan, I think you’ve met one of your students early. I’m taking that next semester.” now you were the one with a hand reaching to the back of your neck.

  
“Oh, rad!” he exclaimed, his face initially painted with excitement, now melting to a slightly embarrassed, weak smile.  

  
“I mean, excellent. Very good. Super professional” he tried to stiffen up and mimic what a college professor should be.

  
“Hey, I should get started, y’know, actually running this thing” he said, relaxing from his earlier bit, walking backwards towards the crowd, his physicality asking you to follow. So you did.

  
It was bad. Most improv was, when it was untrained. But it was just absolutely terrible. A hot wash of garbage. And Professor Avidan was not good at concealing this in his face. His cringe was too overt, but didn’t distract the actors, sadly. You just giggled at him, and he caught you. A smile threatened to warm up whatever disappointed chill froze over his face. This instance repeated itself a few times through the night. Avidan eventually ended the night early, exhausted by how poor the performance was, but keeping friendly, not to crush any self esteem. As the room cleared slowly, you kept your eyes to Avidan, but had your phone to look to if he caught your glance. You felt a tug to your sleeve.

  
“Hey, Ross and I are gonna walk a little detour to the dorm, if that’s cool with you?”

  
“Have fun, kids” you smiled to Holly, and she didn’t need much more convincing to leave. You stayed a minute, staring at your phone, but thinking about Avidan. If you should say goodbye, and how so, but did that matter? Because he was your teacher, but something about him was so... casual? But that didn’t matter, because there are, like, laws against that. But what was _that_ in the first place? You didn’t intend on anything-

  
“So I’ll see you in a week or so?” Avidan said down to you, while you were buried in your thoughts, you looked up to him.

  
“Oh, uh, yeah” it was hard not to smile when talking to him, you picked up on this too quickly. Cursing yourself whenever you did. Teacher. He’s a _teacher_. Your teacher.

  
“I’ll be sure to sit upfront” you said, turning to the stairs, enough so that you could hide the face that was scolding yourself.

  
“I’ll see you then, ‘NO FUN’” he called after you, a smile caught your lip, one you’d be sure to be upset with later, but not as you turned back to him.

  
“It’s _____” you turned back and took the stairs. He said something else, but you weren’t sure what. That was too much uncertainty to let your mind run wild with.


	2. Basic Name Structure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was being told to stay after so bad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY sorry writing has been incredibly hard recently bc of my senior year schedule rn, and this is ridic short so im so sorry!!! But yeah just talk to me in the comments ahh!! Sorry i didnt proof read before posting either so excuse my terrible terrible typos

“I don’t know why you’re acting like this is some sort of date” Holly spoke into her computer as you rushed before her, to the mirror and back with a new outfit. Reluctantly, you would admit this was because of Professor Avidan. You couldn’t really make excuses for yourself, no you weren't trying to show off to other students, no you weren’t trying to make a good first impression, you were trying to look good for him. Bullshitting yourself was too much effort, but you still wouldn’t be so willing with this information with Holly.

  
“I don’t know man, I just am trying to look ok” you weren’t paying attention to how poorly constructed that sentence was.  
  
  
“Honestly, I think you have a crush on Avidan. Do I have to explain why that’s bad?” Holly shot you a look from her computer, one you were all too familiar with. Her motherly stare was one often acquainted with your… less informed decisions.

  
“No, God… I don’t know I just look like a dumpster most of the time” you had a terrible habit of excusing attention with a joke, it often worked.

  
“Not true, but ok. Get going, you’re gonna be late” Holly still maintained her motherly glare but it loosened, the softness making you feel alright enough to leave.

  
\---

  
The line was inching too slowly in your opinion. His face had been obscured by those taller than you. You hoped you weren’t being too obvious when you searched for it. Each person had their own spiel for Avidan as they took their syllabus, you caught glimpses of his face growing tired, hoping they would all hurry themselves up. When you approached, he went a tad stoney, handing you the syllabus, but when you went to grab it, retracting a bit.

  
“Do I know you?” he asked, his eyebrows pressing down a bit. You let the moment simmer over you, it was a brief shot of embarrassment, and immediate disappointment before it could be jolted,

  
“Just kidding” he let a smile slither over his lip, shaping it to a smirk. Then he let this widen to a full smile, you followed, a laugh that came over you a bit too suddenly pushing your smile to goofy proportions. Before you could make yourself seem any more stupid, you quickly went to your seat. The one you picked was a little too close to the front, but that you didn’t mind. But God, did it feel like people were watching. Like they knew. You could even the feel the sting of the word “slut” against your collar, this sting your own conjuring.

  
“Alright guys. First off, welcome! I’m Professor Avidan…” he found it easy to go off into a tangent, one you couldn’t quite remember. What you could retain was the melodic quality of his voice, and the way his hands had an uncoordinated dance to accompany it. You were easily lost in a lot of this, all until you noticed his back turned to the class, hunched over his own desk scribbling something, the class had gone eerily silent. Writing. They were writing, and you didn’t know what. Panicked, you whispered to the boy next to you, a little too harshly. He explained that you were writing down the genres/ bands you hoped to discuss in the class. Hoping to save face, you wrote down the bands you figured Avidan would be most impressed by. Early 90’s alt pop, british bands with a lead violin player, men with voices like gravel. You were so caught up in writing, that you would be a little startled when Avidan pressed a sticky note to your desk.

  
_“Meet me after class”_

  
Oh my God, he caught you dozing off. And how on earth were you going to explain why? Excuse me sir, sorry for being completely disrespectful but I find you completely hot. God. Stupid. You passed your paper forward when he requested, feeling less proud of your answers.

  
“Ok guys, that’s pretty much it, and I don’t really feel like teaching anymore. Same time, same place next week?” with that, he let the crowd go. All including you were a little off put by his casualty to the matter, but your classmates took the cue eagerly. But you stayed in your seat a moment, only leaving what felt so safe after the room cleared of everyone else.

  
“You belled?” you laughed a little frightened.

  
“____, right?” he looked up to you from his desk. You let this warm up your face, unwinding the stress that held it so tight.

  
“Yeah” you said this a little too dreamily, you’d mock yourself in your head.

  
“I don’t know, I guess I probably shouldn’t have called you after, I just kinda wanted to talk, ask what you thought of the class so far. Not really a good reason to ask you to stay” he laughed, flipping his pen in his hand, only to punctuate his sentence by placing it behind his ear.

  
“I mean, I think it’s a rad topic” _Rad_. You hated when you unintentionally let your Maryland suburban lingo taint a sentence.

  
“Rad? I haven’t heard anyone, other than myself, say that in forever” he leaned forward to you, his smile verging on silly. You laughed at this, loading up a new quip, only to be interrupted by a text from Holly, one you’d pause Avidan for a minute to read.

  
_“Wanna get sushi with Ross and I? Like now?”_

  
You sighed, unsure if you actually had enough reason not to go. You bit your lip and thought, only to be interrupted yet again.

  
“Hey, you can go live your life. I’ll just do some boring teacher stuff” Avidan said to you, his voice too gentle for you not to swoon at.

  
“Thanks, see you next week Professor Avidan” 

  
“Call me Dan”


	3. Desperation and Lust Studies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casualty was never so strongly debated before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I had off today so I got around to writing!! Idk how i feel about this thing so far, so you tell me whats up!!
> 
> NEW TUMBLR: grumpsin.tumblr.com

You could call him Dan. You clutched this name to your chest, and breathed with its weight. Screw formalities, you allowed yourself to breathe in lust’s pink air, and breathe out lilac swirls, Dan was a name you had encountered few times before, none of which sounded so sweet.  
  
Sushi with Ross and Holly, who were now as official as they could be at the time (making it thoroughly uncomfortable to be sat with these new found love birds), was characterized with your head caught in space. Whatever galaxies seemed to consume you, lit you gently with its stars, the light beams when stressed spelled “Dan”. God, thinking back on it, it was pathetic. But a pathetic you could live with, if it was just you who knew.   
  
This pathetic tainted a lot of how you acted in Dan’s class. It was funneled in your ear when you would eavesdrop to see if anyone else called him “Dan”. They didn’t, with all your might, you wouldn’t dare let this get you excited. You failed. Pathetic traced your lips as they lazily drooped over the pen that was pinched between your teeth. Only realizing how “seductive” this pose was when it was far too late to redeem yourself. Pathetic had its ugly name written on your knees, you pinched them together to cover it up. Your feet too eager to tap, when he strolled the aisles of your desks to lecture, he’d stop by your desk, underneath which had a stampede of surprisingly two feet (it sounded like about twenty), he pressed his fingers down on your graffitied knees to settle them. It worked, until he walked further.  
  
The fantasies were a new kind of lewd. A type you weren’t acquainted with, one that scared you. They were sudden and left your cheeks hot, you’d go to cover them quickly when shook from your daze (whether that be your own account, or his voice reaching a new pitch). The flashes of his skin, or rather what you think it would look like, were scattered across your mind during lectures, each one leading to a string of thoughts regarding how that skin would brush yours, and how the muscle that lay under that cursed skin would hold you, and how quickly you could get his skin to yours in a “hypothetical” sense. You were surprised you never actually drooled over him.  
  
After one of the multiple lessons you spent tracing the shine in his curls with your eyes, you were called on your way out.  
  
“Yeah Dan?” the name was fragile in your mouth, it still felt wrong to call him this. He greeted the name with a smirk.  
  
“You certainly know a way to a man’s heart” he said down to his desk, lazily shuffling his papers. You felt your chest tighten at this implication.  
  
“I do?” you were trying so desperately not to sound like you were putting on an act for him, but trying hard not to do something, made you seem like you were doing that exact thing.  
  
“Are you kidding, your taste in music is killer. I finally got around to looking at those lists from the first day-”  
  
“It’s been, like, forever since we wrote those” you couldn’t help but snort at him, luckily he met this with a laugh of his own.  
  
“Look, I’m garbage at this whole professor thing. Either way, I wanted to say I dig your jams” he had an absolutely dorky way of talking, one you couldn’t help but be charmed as hell by.  
  
“Well, thank you” you smiled downwards, focusing on your feet, and how the weight bounced from the toes, then to the heels. You needed somewhere to drive all your energy. Before you could turn and leave, Dan’s voice rang from where he had been filing papers.  
  
“I also have some ulterior motives for calling you after” he spoke proudly, you could practically see the toothy smile on his currently obscured face.  
  
“And they are?” you had become more playful with him, an area you were all too willing to go into, but remained hesitant with its first steps.  
  
“The, let’s call them “unique”, members of the Improv group need funding, so we’re throwing a little fundraiser party thing. I think you can imagine how much I want to be there alone, come please?” He finished by leaning against his desk, and gave you the best puppy dog eyes he could manage. They weren’t necessary in convincing you, but you took them regardless. **  
**  
“Alright Dan” you laughed back him, wondering whether to tread the area of making fun of his improv group, you would refrain when he continued.  
  
“I didn’t mean for that to sound as much like a date as it did, that would be ‘highly inappropriate’” Dan scratched the back of his neck, and tried to miss your glance for the next few seconds.  
  
“Yeah…” this was only to fill the silence, but it earned his eyes moving to you suddenly, now it was your turn to dodge his look. You’d say your goodbyes and leave for the night, a night you’d spend over analyzing absolutely everything that just happened.  
  
\---  
  
When you didn’t immediately see him in crowed room (far more crowded than you expected), you went straight to the wall to stand. Before you could even make conversation, Ross and Holly were off talking, too far swept up for you to tag along. So you stood, knees touching, and arms crossed, pressing closely to your body. Anyone who passed close enough to you got a short lived smile and a nod that was enough to tell them to move on.  
  
“_____!” you had never loved your name as much before, he pushed through the crowd to your little wall, and cozied in the spot free next to you.  
  
“Were you waiting long?” Dan asked with a pant you could tell he was faking.  
  
“Can’t really tell” you laughed back to him, he caught your chuckle. Between sips of drinks you both wished were alcoholic, you traded your usual barbs, but still were suited in an uncomfortable air. You both weren’t able to find how casual was too casual, and what even the consequences were if you were _too casual_. You knew why _you_ couldn’t be so… normal with him, but you wondered why he seemed to share in the dry swallows that seemed to consume this conversation.  
  
“You wanna ditch?” Was spoken after he finished his drink, face fully turned to yours. You met him with a confused look. Highly unprofessional, especially when professionalism what he seemed to pride himself on all night.  
  
“I-” you dragged out longer than you should have, you did. You wanted to more than anything.  
  
“I don’t think they’ll notice” Dan gestured with his now empty cup. Whether they were dancing, talking, or finding a new bed to be in that night, they were distracted.

  
“Ok” you said, a smile daring to pull at your lip. You weren’t stopped as you slid out the door, a fear that rested shortly in the back of your mind. When the chilled air finally splashed over you two, and the night seemed to enclose to just the glowing exit sign outside of the studio building, Dan turned to you, laughing.  
  
“What do we do now?”  
  
“You’re the one who wanted to leave!” you let a surprised laugh catch you,  
  
“I know, ha… shit” his giggle fizzed through this sentence. You’d admire how the white of his teeth seemed to be the only thing glowing in the night, that is until you saw bits of white behind him, flickering in and out, this would give you a plan.  
  
“I’ve got an idea” you said, making a bold move, and taking his hand only to pull him for too short a time in your direction, you'd release him once you were aware of how inappropriate this was in nature. You took him past the field and through the bushes to the rocky shore of the lake that edged out the campus. You toed the water with your boots. You’d look over the lake once more, thanking the pitch white reflection of the moon in the water for giving you some sort of idea.  
  
“I forgot how pretty this place can be” Dan said, only slightly hushed by the water slapping against itself.  
  
“I guess that happens when you work somewhere” you said, wishing you could just leave the teacher aspect out of all this for once, but no, it lived under your tongue. Dan took lazy, pointless steps to you. You remained still, toes of your shoes tickled by the water, you kept your head down to them. nervousness seemed to paralyze you. He stood close to you, his arm daring to brush yours. He looked down to you, and you matched his gaze. His eyes, rather than glowing with his humorous energy, held a sternness, something wanted to be said, but stayed silent in that moment. It may have tried to slip from his lips, but he caught it, when biting them, you hoped his next words were whatever lay behind his eyes.  
  
“Let’s head back” you knew this was filler.


	4. Behavioral Studies of Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Overthinking is a talent of yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey im not dead!! Sorry this is so short but ive been getting requests to update on my tumblr (which you should follow!) so i pumped this out tonight. As always, tell me what you think in the comments! 
> 
> NEW TUMBLR: grumpsin.tumblr.com

You could feel your heartbeat slow when seeing him in class. After that moment at the lake, the one you tried to rewrite over and over, he separated himself from you at the party. And you watched him between people, trying to keep glares in the shapes of circles out of your vision. You couldn’t really decided what was so wrong about what happened, but it was. It couldn’t have been right, not when you felt your stomach split itself open and turn inside out.

  
So seeing him again was hard. He kept his eyes to yours too long, long enough to make you have hope. This hope had it’s throat slit by the daggers he stared at his desk, just to look away from you. You took this as a cue to go to your desk, you chose a seat further back than normal.

Your feet no longer tapped during class. You wouldn’t even dare to breathe too heavily. It’s like you were scared to even remind him of your existence, but he was, when he made occasional eye contact with you. You tried holding on to this, your knuckles practically turning white with grip, but he always found a way to tear away.

  
The pathetic you had become was a new brand. Something more sorrowful, something you couldn’t even let yourself have pity for. It was desperate, it was clingy, it was revolting. It was creepy. You had become leering and… and gross. If that was the best word for it, then that’s what you were. Gross. Dependent on some man you had been obsessing over, imagining there was some form of connection with, he was nice, too nice to you, and you took advantage of it.

  
You could feel yourself getting overwhelmed. You could feel heat pile in your cheeks and start to creep under your eyes. No. You won’t cry. You can’t do that. Whatever low you were at would drop fifty fathoms with even a single tear. You were not crying. So you pushed the heat downwards, it lingered on your throat. And would pepper out with each breath. This was a cleaner save of one of your episodes, something you could be proud of. Later. You could be proud of it later.

  
You tried looking away from Dan- Professor Avidan. That’s what he was again. Your paper couldn’t distract you from the immense amount of guilt that riddled you. Your skin gained a bumpy texture with it. Chills bounced from each end of your spine, like some never ending ping pong game. You picked too much at the skin on your lip.

  
He seemed lazy today. He seemed defeated. He seemed confused. You figured you were contributing to this. You figured you were a source of his anxiety, you had to be. You probably made him itch.

  
You could hear his voice say your name. This time with disdain. With regret.

  
_“I made a mistake”_

  
_“I feel unsafe”_

  
_“I wish she was gone”_

  
You hadn’t actually heard any of this, but it practically felt real, you could feel it in the cup of your ear. You felt like scum.

  
When class let out, you tried leaving last. Hoping to hear your name mixed with the dust that swirled in the air, maybe he would save your from this, remind you that nothing was wrong. That you had blown this all out of proportion. That you were being ridiculous, but it was ok. And you can always tell him when your upset, because he cares about you, and-

  
Nothing.

  
So you left. You tried calming yourself, breathing with the clack of your shoes on the tile. Hoping no one would try to talk to you. Click clack. Click clack. Click-

  
“_____” Your name is just a sound, but at that point, it was a song. Something to be played over and over in your head, it was joy. Dan had a way of making music out of things that just simply weren’t, you were a prime example.

  
When you turned to him, you saw him jogging down the hallway, you stopped, trying to repress the smile on your face. You expected him to stop, but he just took your hand. He tugged you along, and you had no choice but to speed up. You played with this casualty, the halls had cleared around you two. Before you could focus on where you were going, you felt yourself swing to the left.

  
Suddenly it was dark. A broom closet, you were able to deduce this quickly, all in the half second he gave you, before kissing you. Yes, a kiss. A sudden one, one you let yourself fall faint to. You ended up being caught by the door, and you felt his laugh vibrate against your lips. You kissed him back, softly at first, but soon grabbing his collar, and smearing your lips against his own. He plucked himself from you,

  
“Uh oh”


	5. Repairs and Reconstruction Theory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of something akin to an accident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! Im not dead! I've just been SOOOO busy! Life Updates: Done with the play and college apps (for now) however, i do now have a boyfriend which makes it hard to write these pieces for obvi reasons 
> 
> Anyway this is short but i just wanted to write it to let yall know i didnt die 
> 
> TUMBLR: grumpsin.tumblr.com

The blackness of that closet could only comfort you right now. It was good you couldn’t see him, you could delay yourself from actually realizing what has happened. Strange, you concluded, this was strange. You had been practically drooling over even the concept of kissing him, yet when actually doing so pangs of fear shot expertly across your back.   
  
“You ok? Shit-” Before he could even begin to apologize you kissed him. To shut him up mostly, you needed the space to think. You wanted this. Oh, how you had wanted this. But everything felt wrong, a physical display of mashing the wrong pieces of a puzzle together.   
  
“This is weird”  
  
“Yeah” Your breaths tried to find harmony in one another. He was still clutching the sides of your face.  
  
“Do you want me to like, leave” Dan was trying to sooth the tremble in his voice.   
  
“No” Demanding was a rare quality in your voice, but it found its tone now. Nothing could ever feel right to you, but something about feeling him on you was the thing that most closely resembled the word.   
  
“What is this?” You had to pry this question from the lining of your throat.   
  
“A risk”   
  
“ _Seriously_ ”  
  
“Something… It’s something that was inevitable”   
  
“You say that as if I’m irresistible”   
  
“You are” Desperation plus agonizingly slow tension with a dash of low self esteem mix to a perfect cocktail that gets you drunk off your own poor choices. But was doing this a poor choice? It was inappropriate of course, but how could something that so closely follow the drumming in your heart ever be wrong? This game of morality chess could be saved for a later date, especially when he had more to say.  
  
“You drive me crazy” To save from some regrettable quip, you pressed a kiss below his eye, and finally slunk your grip down to the tips of his fingers.   
  
“You should go” he said, but also preparing himself for the thought overloaded night he was staring in the face. You complied, reluctantly. And went home to your own sleepless night.


	6. Dream Analysis and Comprehension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tangibility of the situation becomes fainter with each passing moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYOOOOO. So it's 1:47 in the AM and I finished high school last week so I AM BACK. I have so much time to write and I'm ecstatic to get back into the swing of things!! So i decided this red headed step child of a piece. Don't hate me too much for being gone so long sorry guys????
> 
> TUMBLR: grumpsin.tumblr.com

You wouldn’t look too closely at your pen cap. It was chewed beyond believe and hardly recognizable at this point. He was what- two? Three rows ahead of you? You had sat considerably closer than last time. Part of you thought this seemed suspicious. But to who? Whatever lies unspoken between you and Dan was that, unspoken. Otherwise known as a secret, you know, something no one else knows about. However, paranoia is a peckish beast, often finding bits of you to nibble, this time a more abstract one.

  
He took too many looks at you, for your liking. If you were going to actually pay attention and not think about the painful elephant in the room, he’d have to deliver his entire lecture to the floor. You could’ve sworn he shot a wink at you, like it was positioned in a slingshot, tugged taught on a rubber band, pinning you expertly between the eyes. 

  
You should find this cute. Endearing. Hot, even (Hot? Was that a word you wanted to start using?). But it was aggravating. Each indirect move he made towards you rubbed at you like sandpaper. By now you were smooth and red and bloody with his affection. Absolutely sinister and it was something he’d get a stern rant about later. 

  
That is- if you were brave. Whatever your last encounter was seemed fake. Practically had clouds bordering it, it was pink and puffy and all the things that didn’t have a place in your life. Not that you were too cynical to accept some romance into your life, but whatever romantic gesture life had in store for you were more awkward in delivery. Nothing seemed too perfect. Which made this suspicious.

The first breaths outside of that broom closet were tentative, they were thick. He was waiting on the inside, for five minutes you agreed. So after the brief breath you spent lining yourself with the door, you pushed yourself off and walked obviously briskly to your dorm. You tried to trap your thoughts outside with the door. 

  
“You good?” Holly asked, taking one ear of her headphones down.

“Whatever” You sighed, immediately sliding your shoes off. 

  
“That’s not an answer” The headphones were off now. 

  
“I’m fine. I-” Her eyes were big and worried and you had no idea if you should be freaking out or not. 

  
“I don’t know if I made a mistake or not” 

  
“You probably did. But who cares, no one ever does anything right, like ever” She lifted her tone with the corner of her mouth. You chose to go to sleep after that. 

  
But now you’re here and he is a mistake so big and bright and smiling and handsome right in your face, too close to resist the urge to just rush up to him and kiss him reassuring yourself it’s not a dream it never was it was the most real thing you- 

“See you guys later!” The class files out around you, your papers are scatter across your desk and the room is quickly silent. 

  
“Hey Dan” your voice cracks as you speak to Dan from your desk. He’s already making his way to the door, he locks it. 

  
“Hey ____” He takes his hair from a ponytail, and it falls outward. You can feel your mouth twitch into a smile at the sight of this. 

  
“What?” His mouth gains a similar quality. 

  
“Nothing. I like your hair”

  
“It likes you back” And he’s so close. He’s leaned over your desk, he’s right there. 

  
It wasn’t a dream then and it’s not now bc his lips are all too real and all too forceful against your own. You yank yourself back, and begin a nervous laugh. 

  
“Look I know my hair’s funny but you don’t have to be rude” Sinister once again takes over his smile. 


	7. The Art of Subtlety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most learning is done on the fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY so I. Suck. I thought i would have time to write this summer but between getting ready for college and working I havent had time but !!! This chapter is DONE 
> 
> if you wanna cyber bully me: grumpsin.tumblr.com

  “Shut up” You breathed, standing up from your desk and pulling yourself to him by his tie. This kiss seemed to surprise him but not enough to startle him too aggressively. Loosening your grip on his tie you pulled back from him, eyes dazed and rolling downward and your lips peeling from him gently. He smiled unusually widely, and the beginning of a chuckle dared to conquer the minimal space between you two.

“What?” you asked in a tone you could say was akin to sugar.

“Nothing” he said, smile still yanking at his face, he rose a hand to run through the curls in the back of his head, taking lazy steps backwards. He lifted his head and turned around taking long strides to his desk and leaving you thoroughly alone. Arm held to your side with a nervously ticking hand, you made your eyebrows pensive as you watched him shuffle papers at his desk.

“For real, what?” You said suddenly cemented to that spot next to your desk. Your voice was slightly hushed, the distance was enough for you to feel like you could raise your voice to a casual call, but you’d rather no one acknowledge you were in this room currently. He paused and turned to you, smile consistently wide, his hair noticeably wider, similar to when you first met.

“Nothing” he mocked your volume, and you stopped mid roll of your eyes. His mouth now hung open, his amusement clearly rising, and something about the gesture allowed you to drop your hand that was fidgeting with the skin of your elbow, and bring it to pinch the bridge of your nose as you laughed. You walked down to him, weight of your body bobbing with your stride, you slid between him and his desk, he rose his hands in surrender to your sudden closeness.

“Really”

“Nothing. I promise” He said, looking down, smile still sneaking around his glance. He turned to the opposite side and began to flip through different files, aimlessly, you could tell. 

“Shit. Am I a bad kisser?” you asked releasing your lean from the desk and staring hard into the back of his head. He didn’t answer. 

“I mean it’s been awhile but, I don’t know, I thought it was like riding a bike?” 

“That’s it, isn’t it? I’m a bad kisser. Fuck.” with your last statement you cradled your head in your hands, your voice with this word was more breath than anything. Through your hands you could hear him chuckle and you let your back lean against the desk again, but you could not look up- that is until you felt his hands at the sides of your hips, and his breath hot against the hands masking your face. You sheepishly peaked up, and his smile was still there, and sly as ever. 

“You’re a good kisser”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“Nothing I fucking swear!” His laughter clued you in that he was still playful, but you knew you shouldn’t tug at this string any longer.

“Fiiiine” you said, mock voice of frustration taking your head back down to your chest, from there you could see your legs twisted together in nervousness, and his knee pressing between your thighs.

“Hey” and before you could lift your head, he was doing it for you with his fingers, and again pressing a kiss, but this time the lightest touch you’d ever felt from him. The tip of his finger fell from your chin, and drug along the skin of your neck, between your breasts, and down to the hem of your PJ shorts (a skimpy pair that he was _definitely_ not a factor in the decision making process of). He slid his hand under the loose fabric and moved to the bare skin of your ass, barely covered by small panties (also _definitely_ not a product of his presence). He gripped you in a way that wasn’t harsh, but still managed to pull a slight gasp from you. You rested your hand in between the fabric of his button up, grip strengthening.

“Let me help you” he said, words vibrating off your own lips. The hand he wasn’t touching you with he ghosted over yours as you unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt.

“Alright” he said, a tinge of laughter ready to bloom if provoked. He raised the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head, and lucky for him, you were braless (total coincidence). Quickly you snapped your head back to check that, yes, the door was-

“Locked and the windows covered”

“So you had this in mind?”

“Not originally, but then you waltzed in here, full on playboy bunnying it” And you could blush because he absolutely caught you. You returned to undoing buttons and looked up for another kiss, his lips were barely grazing yours, his eyes just about to close until you heard a knock on the door, that now you realize wasn’t banging but then it made your heart fling against your chest. Dan shoved you below his desk, and persuaded you under with his foot. Before sliding completely under, you watched him panicked, buttoning up his shirt and jogging to the door. You sat, bare chested, hugging yourself, and rocking slightly out of fear. Your lip should have been bleeding from how hard you chewed it. You heard Dan make nervous steps to the door, and unlock it.

“Avidan, how’s the new course?”

“Oh you know, It’s going pretty well.” You heard Dan speed his footsteps so he could step in front of you and behind his desk, by the time he got to the desk he swiped something to the floor, your shirt you later could conclude. You watched it as he had seemingly the most unimportant conversation in the world with what you assumed was another professor in the music department. Your breath was so still you felt you could die and no one would hear a word. You tried crawling out slightly to grab your shirt, but were obstructed by Dan’s leg that he purposely put out to block you. Trying not to sigh out of frustration, you returned to your spot under the desk.

“Any promising students?”

“None that I can think of right now.” If topless under his desk isn’t promising, you didn’t know what was. They probably were only talking a few moments, but being nude from the belt up must have some sort of stretch on time, akin to dog years.

“Do you have a date to Deb’s wedding? I’m afraid me and Carri can’t make it”

“Oh- uh No.”

“Hey don’t worry about it, you know what they say about weddings! Welp, I’ll catch you later, you know, papers to grade and yada yada yada.”

“Ah yeah see ya Ben!” And when you finally heard the door close again, Dan was quick to crouch under the desk.

“Coast is clear” he said, handing you your shirt, wadded up and in his hands. You put it on, and crawled out, but stayed sat on the floor. You stayed quiet, and picked at the skin of your thumbs. Dan sat next to you, keeping his distance at first, but nudged you with his shoulder after the silences began to itch him.

“You good?”

“Yeah” you lied. A twisting type pain settled under your stomach. It began to wash over you that you weren’t a girl he could take to weddings. You’re a girl he can keep under his desk, get handsy with when he feels like it, and then move on with the “real” parts of his life.

“That’s a lie”

“You’re good. Do another one.”

“Be serious.”

“I don’t know” You let your head fall into your hands, and groaned with what seemed to be exhaustion, and you guess, could be considered that.

“I guess I didn’t realize I actually liked you, and I guess I’ve kinda stuck myself in a position where that’s highly inappropriate- for more than the obvious” you sighed, flattening your breath.

“Well, I like you too”

“Do you like me, or do you like grabbing my ass in your classroom?”

“I like girls who aren’t afraid to tell me the club I run is lame. I like girls that put too much effort into stupid ice breaker activities on the first day of class. I like girls that would hide under a desk, topless, to protect me. So yeah, I like you.”

“I know you can’t take me. But theoretically, in a totally hypothetical situation, would you take me to that wedding?”

“You know. I thought about it, even when we were strictly student and teacher.”

“But there’s probably all types of professors from the school there-”

“Deb is a friend from college, Ben is the only other professor that knows her. We’d be in the clear. So could you stop trying to ruin me asking you?” You suddenly felt that cramp-like feeling in your stomach that often followed you leaping to conclusions. This fall could've nearly shattered your bones. Dan's voice rang with the tiniest shred of bitterness, you assumed that could be because he'd been working on a way to invite you. The blush that conjured across your chest mixed with your embarrassment resulted in a rather weak uttering: 

“Oh” Dan turned to me and laughed at my startled vocalization. He got on his knees and crawled towards me, cupping my chin in his hands, he guided me into another kiss.

“Yeah, Oh” he said mockingly, laughing before kissing you again.


End file.
